Feels like we've been to the moon and back: A Pregnant Pause {Conclusion}

Warning:  This post is LONG. . . and contains details regarding labor and birth.  If you are not comfortable with sitting for long periods of time or hearing juicy birth stories then this post is not for you.  You have been warned.

I am a perfectionist and when I need to complete something that is important to me and I want it to be perfect I’m usually paralyzed. . . until I finally convince myself to just get it over with. Does that ever happen to you?  That’s probably why it’s taken me so long to get this done. . . ok and the fact that I now have an almost 8 month old keeping me up all night a busy all day.

 I love Callie’s birth story and I want more than anything to document it for her.  We are a story telling family.  Claire LOVES to hear stories from our past and I have a feeling she will make sure her little sister will too.  This is why I want to make sure I do this story justice.  Not because it’s particularly amazing, but because I know it’s a story my girls will cherish throughout their lives.  Claire, someday I’ll get around to trying to remember all the happenings of your special day and get them down on the proverbial paper too.



 

Let’s start where I last left off.  I was teaching full time and enjoying the fun and challenging kids at my school.  I kept getting bigger and bigger and my students kept asking what would happen if I had the baby at school.  I knew that the likelihood of going into labor at school was miniscule and I would constantly reinforce this to my students.  Eighth graders get obsessed with the weird and crazy things in life.  That being said. . . as the days of school counted down I began to wear out and start to worry too. 

With each midwife visit Callie was measuring big and we had a feeling she would be early.  Claire was two weeks early and we had a feeling this lady would be early too.  I was having consistent Braxton hicks every afternoon and I knew the time was drawing near.  My due date was June 6^th . . . which happened to be the last day of school too.  I knew that come June 6^th there was no way in the world I wanted to be at that school. . . physically or emotionally.  I went to the principal’s secretary and said baby or no, I will not be in the last week of school.  We made arrangements and all was good. Or so I hoped.

 

Sunday, May 26^th contractions started at around six in the evening and were becoming consistent and closer together.  By 9:30 I texted the midwife my contraction log and she suggested I try getting some sleep and to let her know if things progressed any further.  Not the answer I wanted to hear.  I wanted her to say come right in.  I’m glad she didn’t say that now, but at the time I was disappointed.  I texted Janie who lives 4+ hours away in Dallas and let her know what was happening.  She was planning on being my support person during the birth.  Let’s face it I was scared to death to have a natural birth and Dylan was too.  I knew Janie would be able to think clearly and help me reason when I wanted to give up.  Bless her heart she dropped everything and started the  four hour drive to Houston.  By the time she arrived at 2:30 a.m. all contractions had ceased.  I had actually had good sleep and didn’t hear her knock or call.  She slept in my parking lot in her car.  Waiting for me.  When I woke at four and realized I missed her I felt terrible. 

Monday, May 27^th, Memorial day Janie and I tried every trick in the book to try and get things started again.  Lunges, squats, stairs, pumping, etc.  Contractions would come, but then they would taper off and end.  That afternoon, Janie packed up and headed back to Dallas and I felt totally and utterly defeated.  I felt horrible because she had come all the way here for nothing.  I also felt horrible because I had had my hopes up and I just did not want to go back to work the next day.  Jackie, my midwife, texted and said for sure she thought I would have texted to say it was time.  We were all disappointed. 

The next day I went to school.  I had my midwife appointment that afternoon and they stripped my membranes and said they really thought the baby could come anytime.  On the way home from the midwife my contractions became very intense.  I picked up Claire from the sitter hopeful I’d have to drop her back off in a few hours so we could go have a baby.  True to form though, Miss Callie kept the contractions going most of the evening and then settled down for bed.  That night I texted the secretary at work and told her I would not be back in, that they expected the baby to come anytime.  The waiting game began in earnest.

Wednesday morning I received a text from the midwife inquiring if the membrane stripping had worked.  I told her what had happened.  She said she really thought baby was ready and I was too.  We were both puzzled.  She said that I could try some castor oil if I wanted to.  I had heard horror stories and was afraid to try it, but I wanted this to be done.  Most women can relate. . . there comes a point in pregnancy when you. are. done!!!!!!  I was there.  I tried the castor oil and one small bout of diarrhea and then nothing.  This was now turning into a sick joke.  The rest of the week ticked on and I felt ridiculous for bailing out of work when there was no baby in sight. 

Tuesday, June 4^th arrived and it was time for another appointment.  Still no baby.  I was in mourning and deep depression at this point.  (Looking back it cracks me up because I was not even to my due date yet!!!! I’m a dramatic idiot.)  The midwife stripped my membranes again, sent me home with some primrose oil  capsules to take and said hope we hear from you in a few hours, otherwise I want to see you on your due date.

Thursday, June 6^th.  My due date.  The last day of school.  I headed to my appointment at 9 a.m. On the way I saw the most beautiful cloud in the shape of a heart and stopped to take a picture of it.  I had hoped it was a good omen or something.  A friend commented later that the cloud looked like a baby.  On close inspection I saw a baby too.  It was a quiet morning at the office, no one else had arrived.  Jackie met me early and for a quick visit before she headed to the island for the day to see patients.  We both sat and scratched our heads as to why this baby had not made an appearance yet.  She stripped my membranes yet again and stretched my cervix a little hoping that might do something. By now I was dilated to almost a five and fully effaced.  I had been that way for a week and both of us had resigned that baby was not coming. 

I headed home defeated.  On my way home the contractions began again and thinking it was the same as before I became very frustrated and started to get mad.  I was sure it was the same old thing.  I was home by 10 a.m. and the contractions were still consistent.  By 11 I had a feeling I needed to call Dylan.  I called him and I cried.  I told him I wanted him to come home but I felt stupid if it wasn’t really happening again.  I called Janie and told her Dylan was on his way and she said she was dropping her kiddos off and she would be on her way too.  Dylan was home in 20 min.  I decided to eat a bowl of yogurt and pineapple and the contractions were staying pretty regular.  In fact while I was eating lunch and talking to Dylan, I had to stop and catch my breath a few times.  I still felt like it definitely wasn’t time.

It was a half day of school and I had promised my friend I would pick up Claire and her girls from school so they could play at my house for the rest of the day.  It was time to get the girls from school so Dylan went to pick them up.  The moment he walked out of that door a contraction came with such force I thought I wanted to curl up and die.  I called Dylan and told him he had to come right back.  I called my friend Angie and told her she had to get the girls.  I texted the midwife and said that we were heading to the birth center.  She was still in Galveston but another midwife was at the birth center seeing patients.  Jackie said she was leaving Galveston and said she would meet us there. 

The contractions on the way to the birth center were intense.  VERY INTENSE.  True to my life, a funny thing happened on the way to the birth center. . . we got lost.  I had driven there from the direction we were coming several times, but Dylan never had because he always came from work.  I was delirious and out of my mind with debilitating contractions.   Dylan thought he knew where he was going.  So to make matters worse there may have been some crying and yelling and whipping out the GPS to get to the midwife. . . we were close. . . just not where we thought we were. 

When we finally arrived Camellia, another sweet midwife, was waiting for us and as we walked through the door  peace and calm overcame me.  We were escorted to our birthing room and relaxing music greeted us and a warm bath was running in the tub.   I quickly changed into my comfy nightgown and the contractions continued to intensify.  When I sat down on the bed I immediately felt like I was going to puke.  This was the one part I hated when I gave birth to Claire.  Throwing up during labor, I was not looking forward to it, but knew that it meant I was getting close.  I told Camellia that I thought I was going to throw up and she handed me a bowl.  Luckily, the wave of nausea quickly passed and I did not throw up. The contractions intensified.  Camellia asked if I wanted to get into the tub.  I remember thinking, “Really, I just changed my clothes and now you want me to change again!?!?!?” The thought of warm water sounded perfect and I changed into my swimsuit top and climbed in.  The contractions now intensified even greater. 

 

After climbing into the tub Marianne my other midwife arrived.  I had been working with Marianne and Jackie throughout my pregnancy and had got to know the other two midwives Camellia and Katy too.  I was so happy to see the woman that I had discussed my birth plan with and was completely put at ease as she explained what was going to happen.  It was at this point that I realized I was in transition and this baby was coming soon.  Marianne made sure that I received my antibiotics as I had tested positive for group b strep earlier.  It was during the administration of the antibiotics that the contractions started to become unbearable and at one point I felt my water break.  Soon after I knew it was time to push. 

You may be thinking, where was Dylan during all of this.  He was there, I could tell he wanted to help but didn’t know how.  At one point I remember trying to get comfortable after a contraction in the tub and he came to try to help me sit up and I told him to just get away from me.  I feel horrible about it now because when we were preparing for this moment I kept reiterating to him how I wanted and needed his support during labor and now when he offered I pushed him away.  I knew there was nothing he could do at this point to help.  They found him a stool to sit on at the end of the tub and he stroked my hair.  Man I love that guy.

 

Jackie arrived right when the time came to push and boy was I READY!!! I may have been a little overly dramatic, but man it was painful.  I was extremely afraid of tearing so just as I would make progress pushing I would get scared and back off.  Marianne asked if I wanted Jackie to take over and deliver and I remember saying, “I don’t care just get it out!”  I finally was able to get her head out but just could not get the shoulders out.  That was when they had me turn around in the tub to lean on the edge of the tub and push.  At this point they realized that the cord was around her neck and she needed to get out immediately.  I didn’t realize how serious the situation was, I just wanted her out.  I still was having no success pushing so they had me climb out of the tub . . . head between my legs and all. If I wasn’t the one having the baby I would have been laughing at the sight.  I got into a squatting position on the side of the tub and prayed and screamed with all my might as I finally pushed that stubborn little red headed girl out.  She was blue and not responding.  I was in a state of euphoria, happy it was over and happy to be holding my baby.  Not fully aware that the women around me were concerned and panicking about my blue baby.  While they administered oxygen to Callie, I held her and talked to her.  Finally we were able to get her to take a breath and start breathing.  It wasn’t until later talking with the midwives did I realize how serious things had become.  They jokingly said that they didn’t think they were going to have to call an ambulance for baby but maybe for dad who was sitting in the corner white as a ghost with tears streaming down his face. I can only imagine what it must have been like for Dylan to witness such a crazy scary scene. 

Once we were settled back in bed snuggling with our baby I remembered Janie who was on her way.  Dylan quickly called her to tell her what was going on but before he could say anything she told him she was an hour away and she was trying to get here as fast as she could.  He told her that the baby had already arrived and to take her time.

We arrived at the birth center at 12:45 p.m. and Callie was born at 2:15, an hour and a half.  Many prayers were answered; the biggest prayer was that my labor would be quick.  I knew that there was no way I could handle going through contractions like that for hours on end.  Kudos to all you mommas that have done it, you are all my heroes!!! 

Janie arrived around 4 that afternoon.  It was such a relief to see her.  I know she wasn’t there when Callie was born, but I could not have made it through this pregnancy without her.  She was amazing, always answering lots of questions and coaching me all the way.  It was her voice I heard telling me to breath and relax as I fought through each contraction.

 

  

8:30 that evening we were home and getting settled.  My friend Angie brought Claire by to meet her new baby sister.  Claire tried to act unimpressed, but I could see love on her face as she held this little miracle for the first time.

Callie was a big girl.  9lbs and 2oz.  She was 21 ¾ inches long.  Her stubborn nature has persisted throughout the last seven months.  Everything is done on her terms.  She loves people and is always ready with a smile for new faces.  Claire loves being a big sister and always comes to find Callie first thing each morning. 

This baby has been such a blessing in our lives.  She has made me realize that Heavenly Father truly does know what we need and when we need it.  Most of all he does hear and answer our prayers.  When I had lost faith and given up hope he showed me that all was not lost.  I am so blessed to be a momma to two sweet amazing girls. 

 

 

 

Feels Like We've Been to the Moon and Back: Part 1

Post edit:

This post was written some time ago.  Almost a year ago. . . I feel silly sharing it, but for me and my posterity I want to document the whole story.  Feel free to join me on the ride of my miraculous pregnancy over the next few days. . .  

Part One:

I've been wanting to do this for a while.  I just haven't let myself.  The emotion is too real, and sometimes I think my feelings are silly. 

I am also stuck in a world of non-belief.  When you want something so bad for so long and you've even started to come to grips with it never happening. . . it's very hard to accept it as reality when it happens.

Let's pick up where I last left off.  School started and we were here in Houston and nothing had gone as planned.  I really was at peace with life.  My husband thought I was crazy because I felt totally at peace not having found a teaching job.  I just knew things would work out.  I began doing things I had been wanting to do for so long, but couldn't because I was working. 

I met a great friend and started walking in the mornings with her.  She also is fighting the infertility battle.  Her strong sweet spirit every morning is what I needed.

I started a weekly Book of Mormon class with some amazing women from church.  It felt so good to DIG into the scriptures and be fed spiritually by women who had so many more life experiences than little old me. 

I took time to focus on the individual needs of my family and how to make our little apartment feel like home.

All the while still interviewing and searching for a teaching job.

The month of September was BLISS!!!! 

First week of October, Dylan was away on business and Claire and I enjoyed our girls week.  My unpredictable womanly cycle was being unpredictable again.  Much to my husband's chagrin I bought ANOTHER pregnancy test.  (He hates that I almost monthly am buying pregnancy tests. . . but he was out of town. . . he would never know right?) 

Claire is now old enough to know what message those little sticks give and when we arrived home she followed me into the bathroom. I was expecting the same answer I have recieved for the last eight years. Instead this is what we saw almost immediately. . .

The moment I read the results I began chanting over and over, "oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!"

Claire then begins asking a million questions like, "Mom, what does it mean?  Mom, is this bad?  Mom, are you okay?"

I tell her to look at the stick and tell me what a plus sign means.  she looks and says, "pregnant!!!!"

Quickly I take a picture and text it to Dylan who is hanging out in a hotel room somewhere on the East coast.  He immediately calls me and says, "what's that supposed to mean?"  Ahhh, my husband, the man who has such tact and grace.  He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.  Excitement is not a part of his vocabulary. 

As a result of getting absolutely no excitement and every ounce of level headedness from my husband over the phone, I decided I needed to share this info with someone else who would give me a more positive response.  I immediately texted the photo to my bosom buddy Janie and we laughed and cried together. 

Next up: Reality sinking in. . . the timing of the whole situation left us scratching our heads. 

Celebrating and Remembering the Life of a Great Man

 



I found out this evening that my dear sweet grandfather passed away.  My heart aches, but I am so happy that his pain is now gone and the worries of this world are now behind him.

In December, my mom had us send her memories we had of my Grandfather to present him for his birthday.  I am so thankful she had us do this.  To honor his memory I want to share those memories with you.  This is the grandfather that we visited on almost a weekly basis, who I grew up with and learned so much from.  This man truly changed and influenced my life. 

Memories of Grandpa

As I typed up this list it occurred to me that so much of who I am is because of all the things I have been taught by my grandfather. I am so thankful to have a grandfather that I was close to who could love me and teach me all the following things, thank you Grandpa!!!

Teaching me how to tie a fly on my line

Teaching me how to fish

He was with me when I caught my first fish

Teaching me which spring was safe to drink out of and why

He made the BEST latrines for camping. . . Almost as good as being at home

Gave me my love for the outdoors and camping

Introducing me to Bear Creek. . . where I discovered magical kingdoms full of mushrooms, boat races, and houses made of rocks

When Nathan and I were little and we would go to Grandma’s house during the day, I remember him coming home for work and telling us we better be good or we would get a kick in the britches. . . we would just laugh. We thought this was so funny, but we were scared too.

I remember playing in the yard while Grandpa irrigated.

I am amazed that Grandpa built not one, but two houses during my lifetime.

I grew up believing that if ever there was something that needed fixed, Grandpa could do it. From crown molding and pantry shelves to young women’s projects and baby cradles; Grandpa could do it!!

I remember Kira or Keisha trying to drive the van and getting it stuck in between the air conditioning and the gate. Mom called Grandpa, he came all the way from Meridian to assess the damage. Miraculously he unstuck the van. I don’t even remember there being a scratch on it when he was done.

Grandpa always has the best stories.

One of my dreams has been to sit down with him and a video recorder to capture his oral history. I’ve always wanted to ask and record a million questions regarding life growing up in Boise, and WWII, and what it must have been like raising a family in the 60’s and 70’s. That’s the nerdy historian in me!!!

I loved hearing his stories about driving a milk/bread truck and getting his teeth knocked out.

Grandpa has the best sense of humor. He always told us silly little things that would make every little kid giggle. Like, what was did the mosquito say when it hit the windshield? Owwie!!! Or, I think I have a case of TB. . . what’s that Grandpa??? Tired Butt.

***Just this evening before we received the news of his passing we were eating J-ello for dinner.  As we ate I mentioned to my daughter a memory I had of him,
"Hey Claire, you know what Grandpa Great calls J-ello???" 
"What mommy?"
"He calls it nervous pudding!!!" 
She quickly scooped up a spoonful of J-ello and watched it wiggle on her spoon all the while giggling.  Grandpa was always good for a silly joke or a funny story.  I sure will miss him.



{Back to School} Things rarely turn out the way you plan.

 If you would have told me last year at this time that I wouldn't be going back to school this year, I would have laughed in your face.
  Things definitely did not follow what we thought was the perfect plan.  Move to Houston, I would find a job for this school year, we would buy a new house and start back to a life very similar to what we were living in  Dallas. 
Instead I have no job, we are still in a very small apartment and I just sent my only child off to school. 

I am excited that I got to come home and start the laundry and have morning television on that does not consist of the Disney Channel. 

My husband is not excited that I am not working and "contributing" to our goals. 

I know there is a reason things have not turned out the way we have planned, I just wish I knew what the reason was. 

I can hardly believe this little girl is 8 and starting third grade.  We had many fabulous adventures this summer and she was a bit hesitant to go back to school.  Especially since it was a new school with new people. 
Last week I asked her why she didn't want to go back to school and her response was, "because all you do is sit around and be hungry all day." 

She was very courageous this morning. 
Times are a changing.  We are ready for whatever hand we are dealt.  Bring it on!!!!

{Idaho} Baptism, Babies and Fun!

First stop. . .
Photo-op with Buster Bronco





We had a great trip to Idaho this summer.  Our purpose in going was threefold. 

1.  Claire's Baptism

2.  Meet my new niece Hazel

3.  Family Reunion

Sweet Claire getting ready for the Baptism

The baptism was fabulous.  So many friends and family came and it was great to see everyone.  As a parent you are never really prepared for these "mile marker" moments.  Before I know it this little girl will be a young lady leaving for college.

 

My sister Kira had a sweet little girl a few months ago.  I was so excited to finally meet this little lady.  She really made me wish I lived closer so I could snuggle on her often.

Claire and Hickory

Claire's wishes and dreams were fulfilled.  My mother arranged with a friend for Claire to do a little horseback riding while we were there. 



Cousins



Claire had time to play and visit with my cousins girls and she was in Heaven!!!!  I spied these two out in the grass sharing secrets.  My heart melted!!!!

Cute little diner before we went to the airport

Finally, before we went to the airport my dad took us to this cute little retro diner, close to where Dylan and I had our first apartment.  Wish I would have discovered it 12 years ago.  Great food and cute little old men drinking their coffe!!!

{4th of July}

We spent our first 4th of July in Houston.

It was fun, but definitely was not the same.

Our family was invited to a BBQ and pool party.

A couple from church invited us, and we had fun eating, meeting new friends and swimming.

The host/hostess made the coolest 4th of July cake

that we will have to attempt to make sometime.

That evening we went to Clear Lake Park to watch

several fireworks shows around the lake.

We had a fun day. . .

but we did miss all of our friends and family.

There were plenty of times during the day

that I felt myself longing for Idaho.

Throughout this week I have found myself thinking about how

grateful I am for this country we live in.

Often times we get caught up in politics and politicians and

we forget what an amazing place we live in.

I think we need to be more grateful.

If we were more grateful, more of us would work together

to make this country a better place,

instead fighting against each other.

I was reading Doctrine and Covenants 134 yesterday and it made me realize how thankful I am that we live in a country where we are all free to choose.

This is what our Heavenly Father's plan is. 

That we have a choice. . .

This is what the United States of America is based on. . .

LIBERTY!!!

The freedom to choose who you are and what you want to be.

I am so grateful for this.

This is the reason I teach History.

To teach future generations to be grateful for their freedom

and to teach them to protect and preserve it for future generations.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

A New Adventure

We finally have settled into our new place. The first week was tough, but now Claire has arrived things are starting to feel somewhat normal.
Moving from my nice house to a dinky apartment has been humbling, I just have to keep reminding myself that we are here for a reason. I may not understand what that reason is yet, but I do know I need to be here.
I quickly realized that we were living a very sheltered life in Frisco; living and going to church in a place where everyone is just about the same. There is a certain sense of comfort in that. Here there are so many unknowns. We are adapting and will continue to.
A few positives. . .
The pool is literally 50 steps from our front door.
There is a place to work out almost 55 steps from the front door. (I've worked out more in the last two weeks than I had in the last two years.)
Smaller area to keep clean.
We got rid of a significant amount of debt by moving.
Claire has such a positive attitude about everything . . .
She loves that she has French doors to her bedroom
She loves that we have a balcony
She loves that we live in an apartment and it doesn't even feel small to her.
She loves that primary is so small (14 kids )
My plan is to keep focussing on the positives. . . And enjoy this little adventure.

{Happy Easter}

Have I Ever Told You. . .

How much I want just one more little miracle. 

That's my Christmas wish.

I have a million. . . . .

Pictures to post from our trip to the beach

Papers to grade before Monday

Ornaments to hang on my tree

Boxes to pack before my hubby heads back to Houston.

Here's to a Jolly Holiday Season.

It's here!!!

Nothing Better Than. . .

A Sunday Nap

Halloween {2011}

Week In Review {10/24}

Doesn't he just melt your heart.

I can't say enough how much I ♥ this little guy.

This week was full of fun and a few tears.

1. Dylan leaving Sunday afternoon to start his new job in Houston. Surprisingly the week ran rather smoothly and we loved our evening updates and scripture study with him on the phone. I have a feeling the next 7 months are going to fly by. He loves his new job and is enjoying learning the ropes and taking on new responsibilities. He is so grateful for this opportunity.

2. Claire and her kitty, kickin' it Hollywood style.

3. Claire "pretending" to be a diva (doesn't take much there) for Hollywood day at school. I love how its Red Ribbon week the week before Halloween. All the dressing up each day really gets me in the Halloween Spirit.

4. Scout was stripped of his manhood this week. We all hate seeing him with his cone and we spent the better part of Saturday trying to keep it on him. No matter how we put it on, he would find a way to get it off. This is the part of being a pet owner that I have always dreaded. :(

Dylan did get to come home this weekend. We spent Saturday taking care of business around the house. Cleaning, moving furniture, re-caulking the shower, changing filters, finishing up projects that he had to get done for other people. We won't see him until the weekend before Thanksgiving, when we meet up in Corpus to spend the weekend. It will be a long three weeks, but hopefully the time will fly.

{1st} Grade Rumble In The Jungle

Last Thursday, we enjoyed a sweet little program put on by the first graders at Claire's school. Claire had a small speaking part and she did a great job!!

The program was short and sweet--- it was cute and fun and we enjoyed it.

So sad Claire is growing up so quick :(

Happy Easter

My Little Cheerleader!!!

{F.H.E.} Moment

Family Home Evening

last night was on the

Plan of Salvation

This picture was part of the lesson

The man at the front of the picture is supposed to be Satan

Claire seemed to think that it looks just like

her Papa Dale

(Sorry Dad)

Dylan and I were struggling to stifle the laughter.

So, if you ever wondered what Satan looks like

well, he looks like my dad. :0)

Hope Yours Was As Enjoyable As Ours :0}

Got This In The Mail Today. . .

We were supposed to be taking a nap after church today.

Dylan and I were talking and laughing,

not thinking about the little girl upstairs.

Suddenly, I hear rustling of paper

and we see a note slide under the door.

This is what we found. We giggled some more. . .

glad we were just talking and her note wasn't referring to something else :o)

It worked.

Within minutes we were quiet and sleeping.

When we got up from our nap,

Claire was waiting paitently.

The first words out of her mouth?

"Did you get my note?"

Man I love that kid.

She makes me smile daily.

{Vampire Princess}

Wednesday evening was the ward

Trunk-or-Treat

we were running late as usual

I wouldn't let Claire look in the mirror while I was doing her make-up

When I finally finished her make-up and let her have a peek

she got the most horrified look on her face

She immediately started crying and screaming

"Take it off!!! Take it off!!!!"

Apparently her idea of a

Vampire Princess

is very different than mine :D

Again today, when we went to the neighborhood party

she said

"Please don't make me wear the blood again."

I did.

I'm a mean mom like that.

Happy Halloween!!!!