Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I know I'm Opening A Can Of Worms, but . . .

As some of you know I've been considering going back to work. What a emotional struggle this has been for me. I was at the point of needing a MAJOR revelation. Monday I was thinking, I just need to read every talk and article ever written on Mothers and Working. When, I found that that very same day this was posted at Segullah. Did it answer my burning questions? No, in fact it left me feeling even more bewildered.

I counseled with my husband, my mother, numerous women, with various backgrounds, and most importantly my Heavenly Father. I still didn't know if working full-time was what I should be doing. I could see the pro's for both sides.

Working Full Time Pros:
1. Relief of financial stress
2. Start saving
3. Get insurance
4. Use my degree

Staying Home Pros:
1. Less stress
2. More time to keep my house clean
3. Time with Claire her last few months before Kindergarten starts
4. Time to serve in my busy church calling
5. Time to work with the missionaries

As you can see, there are good things about both. We are in a deep hole financially and me working would be a blessing. Yet, would we become dependant on my income? Would it really make a difference after daycare? I have been so torn.

Until. . . I got a phone call this morning. I had been hoping, that I just wouldn't get the job, so I wouldn't have to make the decision-- I knew that wasn't going to happen. I missed the call and had to call them back. I sat there and prayed a little prayer that I would know what to do, and I would be able to feel if it was right.

I just have to bear testimony of a Heavenly Father, who hears and listens to our concerns, who sends people to answer our prayers and bless us. I was offered not only the position I applied for, and didn't feel so right about, but another position that fits me perfectly and my family's needs. It's not so much of a time commitment and I have some time to prepare for it. It will be just enough income and teaching what I love and know.

I took a position teaching as a long term Substitute for a teacher leaving on Maternity leave the end of March/beginning of April. Its 6th grade social studies and one section of reading. I am at peace.

Through this all I have learned from many of you there is no ONE right answer and that we all have to do what is right for our family. What are your experience's being a working/stay at home mom?


Brooke said...

You are right, there is never one right answer! I am so happy for you, that you found what fits with you! Oh how I love feeling at peace.

Does this mean no more craft nights :( I found one I am super excited to try!

Kendra said...

I'm so glad your prayers were answered. I'm always amazed at how the Lord answers our prayers so perfectly and individually. I feel so loved.

I love being a stay-at-home mom, but honestly can't wait to get back into the work world once the kiddos are back in school. I worked full time for 8 years before having my first kid. I enjoy working. I also love being able to stay home right now. It is what is right for my family. Occasionally I'll have a side business that will help our tax return, but mostly I just do my thing as a mom. It's hard work.

Dan said...

I agree...every situation is different and is up to you, your family, and the Lord.

I'm kind of in the opposite boat though...I was definitely blessed to have my job where I work from home at nights, but it is exhausting. For three years I have yearned for a chance to just be a mom and a wife. For some nights where I can sit and read a book, actually do some crafts, and/or spend time with SOMEONE. Or actually go to bed before midnight. But we desperately need this extra money to stay afloat. One day I pray that I can JUST be a stay-at-home mom though. Again, different for everyone.

Isn't it amazing how the Lord answers our prayers individually though? Eventually He always gives us an opportunity that will be right for us. Amazing.

Lisa said...

I'm so glad you have something that fits you perfectly!

Blacker Blog said...

Sarah that's awesome, one other thing you might consider doing if you haven't for a while is initiatories at the temple - just a phrase that's helped me a lot.

Eliza said...

You'll do great, that's exciting! And I agree, the right answer is different for every family.

Chad said...

I have struggled with the same questions. In the end, you have to listen to the counsel that has been given and mostly make it a matter of prayer, fasting and personal revelation. I am sure you have recieved an answer to your prayers.

Chad said...

And this is Elizabeth, not Chad.

Amanda said...

I am glad you found somewhere you can feel at peace.

My name is Andrea said...

I struggle with this on a daily basis and live month to month in this economy praying that me staying home will not be a detriment to our family financially. I'm so happy you were able to get an answer. I love how we get answers that are so indidvidual and that our HF loves us as individuals. I was reminded of this today, we did initiatories and the thing I learned through them TODAY was that EACH of us is important enough and loved enough that each of us gets our own important Initiatory and Endowment. We are each so loved. I love you, Sarah. And I'm so happy for you....

Janie said...

Ok I have had a kid in my arms and haven't been able to comment yet.

When I worked I felt judged by the stay at home crowd at church. I was infuriated by people who complained about staying at home. Dropping my kids off in the mornings killed me even though they were with a wonderful lady!
Now having stayed at home I wouldn't want it any other way. But now that my way of life is severely threatened I realize I did begin to take much for granted and (gasp) even complained about my duties.
I am now repenting for that, while promising myself never again. I LOVE staying home, but I will work if it comes to that. I just hope it doesn't it. I don't even want to go to work when all the kids start school. I hear that a lot "will you go back when the little one starts school?" I hope not. There is much for me to do at home and for church even when my kids are in school.

I am just old fashioned. I want to be home and I think more women should be home and not competing with my husband for jobs that pay well. controversial I know but that is how I feel.

ChellaJ [Rachelle] said...

With my first I worked part-time and loved it. But, with a new move I became a sahm. At first, it was a hard transition. I would really love to go back to school someday and get my MBA, but I know for now this is where I need to be. I think that every individual has to decide what is best for them. It sounds like you did that and you will be blessed. I'm happy that you found something that works for you.

Tranquility said...

Wow - that's wonderful! And this way, you have more time to decide if you want to continue to work full time or not!

Bree said...

I haven't blogged for so long, I feel the need to comment 6 times in one morning!!

I'll tell you from a totally different perspective... One that I'm still deciding if I'm bad person because of. I don't NEED to work. With that said, things would be very tight if I didn't, but we could certainly survive. However, (and I know some stay-at-home-moms may scoff) but I know without a doubt that I am a better wife and mother because of my job. I feel fortunate because I can still be with Luke for the majority of the time, but those few times a week I go to the studio are like me plugging in the wife/mother batteries to recharge. There are times that I feel guilty, and I am constantly wondering "how much longer will I really be able to do this" - but for now, I am content with the situation.