Feels like we've been to the moon and back: A Pregnant Pause {Conclusion}

Warning:  This post is LONG. . . and contains details regarding labor and birth.  If you are not comfortable with sitting for long periods of time or hearing juicy birth stories then this post is not for you.  You have been warned.

I am a perfectionist and when I need to complete something that is important to me and I want it to be perfect I’m usually paralyzed. . . until I finally convince myself to just get it over with. Does that ever happen to you?  That’s probably why it’s taken me so long to get this done. . . ok and the fact that I now have an almost 8 month old keeping me up all night a busy all day.

 I love Callie’s birth story and I want more than anything to document it for her.  We are a story telling family.  Claire LOVES to hear stories from our past and I have a feeling she will make sure her little sister will too.  This is why I want to make sure I do this story justice.  Not because it’s particularly amazing, but because I know it’s a story my girls will cherish throughout their lives.  Claire, someday I’ll get around to trying to remember all the happenings of your special day and get them down on the proverbial paper too.



 

Let’s start where I last left off.  I was teaching full time and enjoying the fun and challenging kids at my school.  I kept getting bigger and bigger and my students kept asking what would happen if I had the baby at school.  I knew that the likelihood of going into labor at school was miniscule and I would constantly reinforce this to my students.  Eighth graders get obsessed with the weird and crazy things in life.  That being said. . . as the days of school counted down I began to wear out and start to worry too. 

With each midwife visit Callie was measuring big and we had a feeling she would be early.  Claire was two weeks early and we had a feeling this lady would be early too.  I was having consistent Braxton hicks every afternoon and I knew the time was drawing near.  My due date was June 6^th . . . which happened to be the last day of school too.  I knew that come June 6^th there was no way in the world I wanted to be at that school. . . physically or emotionally.  I went to the principal’s secretary and said baby or no, I will not be in the last week of school.  We made arrangements and all was good. Or so I hoped.

 

Sunday, May 26^th contractions started at around six in the evening and were becoming consistent and closer together.  By 9:30 I texted the midwife my contraction log and she suggested I try getting some sleep and to let her know if things progressed any further.  Not the answer I wanted to hear.  I wanted her to say come right in.  I’m glad she didn’t say that now, but at the time I was disappointed.  I texted Janie who lives 4+ hours away in Dallas and let her know what was happening.  She was planning on being my support person during the birth.  Let’s face it I was scared to death to have a natural birth and Dylan was too.  I knew Janie would be able to think clearly and help me reason when I wanted to give up.  Bless her heart she dropped everything and started the  four hour drive to Houston.  By the time she arrived at 2:30 a.m. all contractions had ceased.  I had actually had good sleep and didn’t hear her knock or call.  She slept in my parking lot in her car.  Waiting for me.  When I woke at four and realized I missed her I felt terrible. 

Monday, May 27^th, Memorial day Janie and I tried every trick in the book to try and get things started again.  Lunges, squats, stairs, pumping, etc.  Contractions would come, but then they would taper off and end.  That afternoon, Janie packed up and headed back to Dallas and I felt totally and utterly defeated.  I felt horrible because she had come all the way here for nothing.  I also felt horrible because I had had my hopes up and I just did not want to go back to work the next day.  Jackie, my midwife, texted and said for sure she thought I would have texted to say it was time.  We were all disappointed. 

The next day I went to school.  I had my midwife appointment that afternoon and they stripped my membranes and said they really thought the baby could come anytime.  On the way home from the midwife my contractions became very intense.  I picked up Claire from the sitter hopeful I’d have to drop her back off in a few hours so we could go have a baby.  True to form though, Miss Callie kept the contractions going most of the evening and then settled down for bed.  That night I texted the secretary at work and told her I would not be back in, that they expected the baby to come anytime.  The waiting game began in earnest.

Wednesday morning I received a text from the midwife inquiring if the membrane stripping had worked.  I told her what had happened.  She said she really thought baby was ready and I was too.  We were both puzzled.  She said that I could try some castor oil if I wanted to.  I had heard horror stories and was afraid to try it, but I wanted this to be done.  Most women can relate. . . there comes a point in pregnancy when you. are. done!!!!!!  I was there.  I tried the castor oil and one small bout of diarrhea and then nothing.  This was now turning into a sick joke.  The rest of the week ticked on and I felt ridiculous for bailing out of work when there was no baby in sight. 

Tuesday, June 4^th arrived and it was time for another appointment.  Still no baby.  I was in mourning and deep depression at this point.  (Looking back it cracks me up because I was not even to my due date yet!!!! I’m a dramatic idiot.)  The midwife stripped my membranes again, sent me home with some primrose oil  capsules to take and said hope we hear from you in a few hours, otherwise I want to see you on your due date.

Thursday, June 6^th.  My due date.  The last day of school.  I headed to my appointment at 9 a.m. On the way I saw the most beautiful cloud in the shape of a heart and stopped to take a picture of it.  I had hoped it was a good omen or something.  A friend commented later that the cloud looked like a baby.  On close inspection I saw a baby too.  It was a quiet morning at the office, no one else had arrived.  Jackie met me early and for a quick visit before she headed to the island for the day to see patients.  We both sat and scratched our heads as to why this baby had not made an appearance yet.  She stripped my membranes yet again and stretched my cervix a little hoping that might do something. By now I was dilated to almost a five and fully effaced.  I had been that way for a week and both of us had resigned that baby was not coming. 

I headed home defeated.  On my way home the contractions began again and thinking it was the same as before I became very frustrated and started to get mad.  I was sure it was the same old thing.  I was home by 10 a.m. and the contractions were still consistent.  By 11 I had a feeling I needed to call Dylan.  I called him and I cried.  I told him I wanted him to come home but I felt stupid if it wasn’t really happening again.  I called Janie and told her Dylan was on his way and she said she was dropping her kiddos off and she would be on her way too.  Dylan was home in 20 min.  I decided to eat a bowl of yogurt and pineapple and the contractions were staying pretty regular.  In fact while I was eating lunch and talking to Dylan, I had to stop and catch my breath a few times.  I still felt like it definitely wasn’t time.

It was a half day of school and I had promised my friend I would pick up Claire and her girls from school so they could play at my house for the rest of the day.  It was time to get the girls from school so Dylan went to pick them up.  The moment he walked out of that door a contraction came with such force I thought I wanted to curl up and die.  I called Dylan and told him he had to come right back.  I called my friend Angie and told her she had to get the girls.  I texted the midwife and said that we were heading to the birth center.  She was still in Galveston but another midwife was at the birth center seeing patients.  Jackie said she was leaving Galveston and said she would meet us there. 

The contractions on the way to the birth center were intense.  VERY INTENSE.  True to my life, a funny thing happened on the way to the birth center. . . we got lost.  I had driven there from the direction we were coming several times, but Dylan never had because he always came from work.  I was delirious and out of my mind with debilitating contractions.   Dylan thought he knew where he was going.  So to make matters worse there may have been some crying and yelling and whipping out the GPS to get to the midwife. . . we were close. . . just not where we thought we were. 

When we finally arrived Camellia, another sweet midwife, was waiting for us and as we walked through the door  peace and calm overcame me.  We were escorted to our birthing room and relaxing music greeted us and a warm bath was running in the tub.   I quickly changed into my comfy nightgown and the contractions continued to intensify.  When I sat down on the bed I immediately felt like I was going to puke.  This was the one part I hated when I gave birth to Claire.  Throwing up during labor, I was not looking forward to it, but knew that it meant I was getting close.  I told Camellia that I thought I was going to throw up and she handed me a bowl.  Luckily, the wave of nausea quickly passed and I did not throw up. The contractions intensified.  Camellia asked if I wanted to get into the tub.  I remember thinking, “Really, I just changed my clothes and now you want me to change again!?!?!?” The thought of warm water sounded perfect and I changed into my swimsuit top and climbed in.  The contractions now intensified even greater. 

 

After climbing into the tub Marianne my other midwife arrived.  I had been working with Marianne and Jackie throughout my pregnancy and had got to know the other two midwives Camellia and Katy too.  I was so happy to see the woman that I had discussed my birth plan with and was completely put at ease as she explained what was going to happen.  It was at this point that I realized I was in transition and this baby was coming soon.  Marianne made sure that I received my antibiotics as I had tested positive for group b strep earlier.  It was during the administration of the antibiotics that the contractions started to become unbearable and at one point I felt my water break.  Soon after I knew it was time to push. 

You may be thinking, where was Dylan during all of this.  He was there, I could tell he wanted to help but didn’t know how.  At one point I remember trying to get comfortable after a contraction in the tub and he came to try to help me sit up and I told him to just get away from me.  I feel horrible about it now because when we were preparing for this moment I kept reiterating to him how I wanted and needed his support during labor and now when he offered I pushed him away.  I knew there was nothing he could do at this point to help.  They found him a stool to sit on at the end of the tub and he stroked my hair.  Man I love that guy.

 

Jackie arrived right when the time came to push and boy was I READY!!! I may have been a little overly dramatic, but man it was painful.  I was extremely afraid of tearing so just as I would make progress pushing I would get scared and back off.  Marianne asked if I wanted Jackie to take over and deliver and I remember saying, “I don’t care just get it out!”  I finally was able to get her head out but just could not get the shoulders out.  That was when they had me turn around in the tub to lean on the edge of the tub and push.  At this point they realized that the cord was around her neck and she needed to get out immediately.  I didn’t realize how serious the situation was, I just wanted her out.  I still was having no success pushing so they had me climb out of the tub . . . head between my legs and all. If I wasn’t the one having the baby I would have been laughing at the sight.  I got into a squatting position on the side of the tub and prayed and screamed with all my might as I finally pushed that stubborn little red headed girl out.  She was blue and not responding.  I was in a state of euphoria, happy it was over and happy to be holding my baby.  Not fully aware that the women around me were concerned and panicking about my blue baby.  While they administered oxygen to Callie, I held her and talked to her.  Finally we were able to get her to take a breath and start breathing.  It wasn’t until later talking with the midwives did I realize how serious things had become.  They jokingly said that they didn’t think they were going to have to call an ambulance for baby but maybe for dad who was sitting in the corner white as a ghost with tears streaming down his face. I can only imagine what it must have been like for Dylan to witness such a crazy scary scene. 

Once we were settled back in bed snuggling with our baby I remembered Janie who was on her way.  Dylan quickly called her to tell her what was going on but before he could say anything she told him she was an hour away and she was trying to get here as fast as she could.  He told her that the baby had already arrived and to take her time.

We arrived at the birth center at 12:45 p.m. and Callie was born at 2:15, an hour and a half.  Many prayers were answered; the biggest prayer was that my labor would be quick.  I knew that there was no way I could handle going through contractions like that for hours on end.  Kudos to all you mommas that have done it, you are all my heroes!!! 

Janie arrived around 4 that afternoon.  It was such a relief to see her.  I know she wasn’t there when Callie was born, but I could not have made it through this pregnancy without her.  She was amazing, always answering lots of questions and coaching me all the way.  It was her voice I heard telling me to breath and relax as I fought through each contraction.

 

  

8:30 that evening we were home and getting settled.  My friend Angie brought Claire by to meet her new baby sister.  Claire tried to act unimpressed, but I could see love on her face as she held this little miracle for the first time.

Callie was a big girl.  9lbs and 2oz.  She was 21 ¾ inches long.  Her stubborn nature has persisted throughout the last seven months.  Everything is done on her terms.  She loves people and is always ready with a smile for new faces.  Claire loves being a big sister and always comes to find Callie first thing each morning. 

This baby has been such a blessing in our lives.  She has made me realize that Heavenly Father truly does know what we need and when we need it.  Most of all he does hear and answer our prayers.  When I had lost faith and given up hope he showed me that all was not lost.  I am so blessed to be a momma to two sweet amazing girls. 

 

 

 

Feels Like We've Been to the Moon and Back: {Part Three} Going Against Everything I Ever Thought I Wanted in a Birth

This post took me a while to write and then to actually hit publish because, well, let's face it I care way too much about what other people think.  Way too much.  I know that this post may make me look naive or uneducated.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There's a few things I believe.  First and foremost that having children is a very sacred responsibility.  Second, we can't always control the hand we're dealt and it's never our place to judge.  Third, and finally, at some point you just have to have faith and trust in God.  He knows us, He knows what we are capable of and His will and blessings for us are great if we do all that we can do!

Shortly after finding out about our pregnancy I was able to begin working as a long-term substitute for a nearby middle school.  Another amazing miracle.  I was hoping that this position would turn into something more permanent.  Health insurance was not included with substitute positions and having the hospital birth I wanted was going to be financially impossible without insurance.  I didn't know what to do.  I was frozen with fear.  I couldn't sleep at night because I didn't know how we were going to have this baby.  So I waited and waited and waited.

The reality of pregnancy began to kick in as the morning sickness arrived.  Working at a middle school and morning sickness is no fun.  Stinky teenagers sent me reeling daily.  Ginger Ale was my best friend. The parasite in my womb could not be ignored anymore.

I was new to the area and had no insurance.  I didn't know a good OB/GYN so I started asking around.  I received a few referrals and starting calling different doctors for self-pay pricing.  No one wanted me.  This was devastating. I felt like a second class citizen as I called doctor after doctor and no one wanted to take me as a patient after they asked the question, "and what insurance do you carry?"  To which I would reply that I was self-pay.  I would hear, fumbling around and then they would either say were are not taking new patients or be quoted astronomical prices and be discouraged from coming to their practice. 

I just kept waiting to find someone to go to.  I started to get a little depressed.  With my first child I knew who I wanted to see, I went in after being pregnant for six weeks and I was excited.  It wasn't like this with this baby.  I was scared.  

I also need to add, that with Claire, my first, I had a very traditional OB/GYN that I loved.  He was funny and had a great bedside manner.  I had decent insurance through work and so all options were on the table.  We took a birth class, I knew I wanted an epidural immediately and I knew what to expect.  I loved and trusted my Doctor and knew he would make the right decisions for me.  When Claire came everything went as planned and I was happy with my experience.  It was the kind of experience I wanted again.  Yet, with no insurance this time around, it was going to cost me $15,000 or more by the time it was all said and done.  

I knew this would destroy my family financially, but I still did not know what to do.  Having this baby was the blessing we had been asking for for so long, but we really did not believe it would happen.  The timing was just, ugh!!!!

My good friend had suggested I visit a midwife in my area that she had met.  I thought my friend was CRAZY.  A MIDWIFE!!! Me!!!!! No way!!!!!  Yet, as my pregnancy progressed I new I needed to make a decision.  I shopped around a little more and still was not happy with the way I was being treated and the $$$$$$ we were facing.  After calling the local hospital and being transferred from one person to the next I was DONE!!!!  I bit the bullet and called the midwife my friend suggested.  

As I spoke with the kind caring woman on the other end of the phone my heart and mind started to change and soften.  Mary, the office manager, willingly explained cost and procedure and made me feel like a mom trying to have a baby.  That probably sounds ridiculous.  After I had called so many places who made me feel like a low-life vagrant who got knocked up and had no insurance, talking to Mary is exactly what I needed.

I made an appointment to come and take a look and make a decision, although from the conversation I had with that angel on the phone, a decision had already been made.  That decision was affirmed when I met with the amazing Jackie at Bay Area Birth Center.  I knew this was the place for me.  

Over the next seven months I learned more about birth than I ever dreamed.  I learned more about myself too.  Reading, The Gift of Giving Life opened my mind and helped me understand that as women we are capable of so much, especially having babies.  However, you choose to have one.  

Next up. . . the story you've been waiting for. . . or not.

My birth story.

Short, sweet and to the point.

Feels Like We've Been to the Moon and Back: Part Two- Reality Sets In

"When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things:  either there will be firm ground to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly."

After eight years of hoping and praying for a baby we had reached our breaking point.  Our last experience made us believe it would take a lot of money or a miracle to have a baby. 

We felt like a baby was in our future and adoption just never felt right, but we weren't getting pregnant. 

After a lot of soul searching we figured our hang-up with adoption must just be us being afraid of the process and we decided to bite the bullet and start the paperwork. The week I discovered I was pregnant I had actually called LDS Social Services to pursue adoption.  When I only got a voicemail I got scared and hung up.  A few days later I found out I was pregnant. 

As stated in the previous post when we found out, we were in shock and we were happy and excited.  Dylan came home from his business trip and it still had not set in.  In fact even after Callie was home with us it took a while for it to really sink in. 

Reality of things however, quickly set in.  Here we were, in a small apartment in a rather scary place and I didn't have a job or insurance.  How in the world were we going to pay for and have a baby?  We were totally not prepared.  To make matters worse, right after we found out we were pregnant our apartment was robbed.

The robbery made us begin to doubt.  Getting pregnant was something we had prayed for daily for years and now we were questioning.  Looking back it seems so ungrateful that we questioned.  We just knew that there had been times in our lives when we felt we were more prepared to have this baby, but we knew that Heavenly Father had a plan.  We quickly realized that he would bless us beyond measure with this baby and he would help us. 

Many miracles happened throughout my pregnancy.  Most of them little miracles, but miracles nonetheless. 

One such miracle happened shortly after our good news. I found a long term substitute teaching job, that eventually turned into a full-time position. As a result of this job we could afford prenatal care and with the long term job insurance.

Initially I did not have insurance and did not know how we would do this without it. 

Next up: My choice to go against everything I ever thought I wanted or
in birth.

Feels Like We've Been to the Moon and Back: Part 1

Post edit:

This post was written some time ago.  Almost a year ago. . . I feel silly sharing it, but for me and my posterity I want to document the whole story.  Feel free to join me on the ride of my miraculous pregnancy over the next few days. . .  

Part One:

I've been wanting to do this for a while.  I just haven't let myself.  The emotion is too real, and sometimes I think my feelings are silly. 

I am also stuck in a world of non-belief.  When you want something so bad for so long and you've even started to come to grips with it never happening. . . it's very hard to accept it as reality when it happens.

Let's pick up where I last left off.  School started and we were here in Houston and nothing had gone as planned.  I really was at peace with life.  My husband thought I was crazy because I felt totally at peace not having found a teaching job.  I just knew things would work out.  I began doing things I had been wanting to do for so long, but couldn't because I was working. 

I met a great friend and started walking in the mornings with her.  She also is fighting the infertility battle.  Her strong sweet spirit every morning is what I needed.

I started a weekly Book of Mormon class with some amazing women from church.  It felt so good to DIG into the scriptures and be fed spiritually by women who had so many more life experiences than little old me. 

I took time to focus on the individual needs of my family and how to make our little apartment feel like home.

All the while still interviewing and searching for a teaching job.

The month of September was BLISS!!!! 

First week of October, Dylan was away on business and Claire and I enjoyed our girls week.  My unpredictable womanly cycle was being unpredictable again.  Much to my husband's chagrin I bought ANOTHER pregnancy test.  (He hates that I almost monthly am buying pregnancy tests. . . but he was out of town. . . he would never know right?) 

Claire is now old enough to know what message those little sticks give and when we arrived home she followed me into the bathroom. I was expecting the same answer I have recieved for the last eight years. Instead this is what we saw almost immediately. . .

The moment I read the results I began chanting over and over, "oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!"

Claire then begins asking a million questions like, "Mom, what does it mean?  Mom, is this bad?  Mom, are you okay?"

I tell her to look at the stick and tell me what a plus sign means.  she looks and says, "pregnant!!!!"

Quickly I take a picture and text it to Dylan who is hanging out in a hotel room somewhere on the East coast.  He immediately calls me and says, "what's that supposed to mean?"  Ahhh, my husband, the man who has such tact and grace.  He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.  Excitement is not a part of his vocabulary. 

As a result of getting absolutely no excitement and every ounce of level headedness from my husband over the phone, I decided I needed to share this info with someone else who would give me a more positive response.  I immediately texted the photo to my bosom buddy Janie and we laughed and cried together. 

Next up: Reality sinking in. . . the timing of the whole situation left us scratching our heads. 

Celebrating and Remembering the Life of a Great Man

 



I found out this evening that my dear sweet grandfather passed away.  My heart aches, but I am so happy that his pain is now gone and the worries of this world are now behind him.

In December, my mom had us send her memories we had of my Grandfather to present him for his birthday.  I am so thankful she had us do this.  To honor his memory I want to share those memories with you.  This is the grandfather that we visited on almost a weekly basis, who I grew up with and learned so much from.  This man truly changed and influenced my life. 

Memories of Grandpa

As I typed up this list it occurred to me that so much of who I am is because of all the things I have been taught by my grandfather. I am so thankful to have a grandfather that I was close to who could love me and teach me all the following things, thank you Grandpa!!!

Teaching me how to tie a fly on my line

Teaching me how to fish

He was with me when I caught my first fish

Teaching me which spring was safe to drink out of and why

He made the BEST latrines for camping. . . Almost as good as being at home

Gave me my love for the outdoors and camping

Introducing me to Bear Creek. . . where I discovered magical kingdoms full of mushrooms, boat races, and houses made of rocks

When Nathan and I were little and we would go to Grandma’s house during the day, I remember him coming home for work and telling us we better be good or we would get a kick in the britches. . . we would just laugh. We thought this was so funny, but we were scared too.

I remember playing in the yard while Grandpa irrigated.

I am amazed that Grandpa built not one, but two houses during my lifetime.

I grew up believing that if ever there was something that needed fixed, Grandpa could do it. From crown molding and pantry shelves to young women’s projects and baby cradles; Grandpa could do it!!

I remember Kira or Keisha trying to drive the van and getting it stuck in between the air conditioning and the gate. Mom called Grandpa, he came all the way from Meridian to assess the damage. Miraculously he unstuck the van. I don’t even remember there being a scratch on it when he was done.

Grandpa always has the best stories.

One of my dreams has been to sit down with him and a video recorder to capture his oral history. I’ve always wanted to ask and record a million questions regarding life growing up in Boise, and WWII, and what it must have been like raising a family in the 60’s and 70’s. That’s the nerdy historian in me!!!

I loved hearing his stories about driving a milk/bread truck and getting his teeth knocked out.

Grandpa has the best sense of humor. He always told us silly little things that would make every little kid giggle. Like, what was did the mosquito say when it hit the windshield? Owwie!!! Or, I think I have a case of TB. . . what’s that Grandpa??? Tired Butt.

***Just this evening before we received the news of his passing we were eating J-ello for dinner.  As we ate I mentioned to my daughter a memory I had of him,
"Hey Claire, you know what Grandpa Great calls J-ello???" 
"What mommy?"
"He calls it nervous pudding!!!" 
She quickly scooped up a spoonful of J-ello and watched it wiggle on her spoon all the while giggling.  Grandpa was always good for a silly joke or a funny story.  I sure will miss him.



{Idaho} Baptism, Babies and Fun!

First stop. . .
Photo-op with Buster Bronco





We had a great trip to Idaho this summer.  Our purpose in going was threefold. 

1.  Claire's Baptism

2.  Meet my new niece Hazel

3.  Family Reunion

Sweet Claire getting ready for the Baptism

The baptism was fabulous.  So many friends and family came and it was great to see everyone.  As a parent you are never really prepared for these "mile marker" moments.  Before I know it this little girl will be a young lady leaving for college.

 

My sister Kira had a sweet little girl a few months ago.  I was so excited to finally meet this little lady.  She really made me wish I lived closer so I could snuggle on her often.

Claire and Hickory

Claire's wishes and dreams were fulfilled.  My mother arranged with a friend for Claire to do a little horseback riding while we were there. 



Cousins



Claire had time to play and visit with my cousins girls and she was in Heaven!!!!  I spied these two out in the grass sharing secrets.  My heart melted!!!!

Cute little diner before we went to the airport

Finally, before we went to the airport my dad took us to this cute little retro diner, close to where Dylan and I had our first apartment.  Wish I would have discovered it 12 years ago.  Great food and cute little old men drinking their coffe!!!

{4th of July}

We spent our first 4th of July in Houston.

It was fun, but definitely was not the same.

Our family was invited to a BBQ and pool party.

A couple from church invited us, and we had fun eating, meeting new friends and swimming.

The host/hostess made the coolest 4th of July cake

that we will have to attempt to make sometime.

That evening we went to Clear Lake Park to watch

several fireworks shows around the lake.

We had a fun day. . .

but we did miss all of our friends and family.

There were plenty of times during the day

that I felt myself longing for Idaho.

Throughout this week I have found myself thinking about how

grateful I am for this country we live in.

Often times we get caught up in politics and politicians and

we forget what an amazing place we live in.

I think we need to be more grateful.

If we were more grateful, more of us would work together

to make this country a better place,

instead fighting against each other.

I was reading Doctrine and Covenants 134 yesterday and it made me realize how thankful I am that we live in a country where we are all free to choose.

This is what our Heavenly Father's plan is. 

That we have a choice. . .

This is what the United States of America is based on. . .

LIBERTY!!!

The freedom to choose who you are and what you want to be.

I am so grateful for this.

This is the reason I teach History.

To teach future generations to be grateful for their freedom

and to teach them to protect and preserve it for future generations.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

{Happy Easter}

Let the countdown begin!

Week In Review {10/24}

Doesn't he just melt your heart.

I can't say enough how much I ♥ this little guy.

This week was full of fun and a few tears.

1. Dylan leaving Sunday afternoon to start his new job in Houston. Surprisingly the week ran rather smoothly and we loved our evening updates and scripture study with him on the phone. I have a feeling the next 7 months are going to fly by. He loves his new job and is enjoying learning the ropes and taking on new responsibilities. He is so grateful for this opportunity.

2. Claire and her kitty, kickin' it Hollywood style.

3. Claire "pretending" to be a diva (doesn't take much there) for Hollywood day at school. I love how its Red Ribbon week the week before Halloween. All the dressing up each day really gets me in the Halloween Spirit.

4. Scout was stripped of his manhood this week. We all hate seeing him with his cone and we spent the better part of Saturday trying to keep it on him. No matter how we put it on, he would find a way to get it off. This is the part of being a pet owner that I have always dreaded. :(

Dylan did get to come home this weekend. We spent Saturday taking care of business around the house. Cleaning, moving furniture, re-caulking the shower, changing filters, finishing up projects that he had to get done for other people. We won't see him until the weekend before Thanksgiving, when we meet up in Corpus to spend the weekend. It will be a long three weeks, but hopefully the time will fly.

Back to Blogging. . . and some {NEWS}

My favorite picture right now.

It is officially time for me to get back in the saddle with blogging. Big changes are and will be happening around here and I'm going to need an outlet during the whirlwind.

It has been just a little over 5 years since we arrived in Dallas. From the moment we arrived we knew this is where we belonged. It just felt right. During that 5 years that feeling has been confirmed over and over again. We knew we were supposed to be here, despite the weekly phone calls from family pleading for our return to Idaho. Texas is the place for us right now.

Last February we got the moving itch and started looking at houses. We found a few in our area that we loved and we got a little excited. After talking to our realtor and discussing our future plans we decided to put things on hold. Selling a house in a saturated market is no fun and not really worth it, unless you absolutely have to do it. That was our mutual consensus.

BUT, the moving itch didn't go away. It kept nagging.

Then, Dylan got bit by the "I don't LOVE my job" bug. Bless his heart, he has been doing some nasty stuff for the last year and a half, and he felt like it was worth it because he could move up and make a name for himself. But the moving up opportunities just weren't appearing. So, he casually started looking elsewhere.

All the while, these feelings of needing to move just keep pestering us.

A week and a half ago Claire and I were on our way to support my 8th Grade boys playing football and I got a life changing phone call from Dylan.

He said, "well are you ready for our lives to get even more complicated?" My remark was, "what now? do I need to come bail you out of jail cause you've gotten one speeding ticket too many?" --- If you only knew ---

"No, I just got off the phone with Steve (his boss' boss) and they are offering me a regional manager position over all of the East coast and they want us to relocate immediately."

I immediately thought, "oh, heck yes I have always wanted to live on the East coast."

"It is a mandatory move to HOUSTON." :( EXTRA LARGE frowny face for me.

The LAST place on Earth I have EVER wanted to live.

A week and a half later, and lots of fasting, praying, temple attending, phone calls, flights to Houston, and more fasting and praying-- it just feels right.

There was no resounding YES or NO but {CALM}

Surprisingly calm, which is amazing because I am the queen of freak out. I've even been blessed with glimpses of why things have happened in the past to prepare us for this. Even more I have been blessed with {PEACE}.

I'm still figuring out how Claire and I will attempt to face the remainder of the school year here, seeing Dylan only a few times a month, and packing up all of our {CRAP}.

Or, how we will sell our house, when there are 3 houses for sale on our street already, and our house is a total mess that has been neglected while I have worked full time for the last 2 1/2 years.

Or, how will we ever find a place as great as our little slice of heaven here in Dallas.

Despite these fears, I continue to know that it will all work out and this is what is in store for us.

Our adventure continues and I am totally excited to see where it takes us.

Happy Easter

{F.H.E.} Moment

Family Home Evening

last night was on the

Plan of Salvation

This picture was part of the lesson

The man at the front of the picture is supposed to be Satan

Claire seemed to think that it looks just like

her Papa Dale

(Sorry Dad)

Dylan and I were struggling to stifle the laughter.

So, if you ever wondered what Satan looks like

well, he looks like my dad. :0)

{Chinese New Year}

My brother was back from Taiwan

just in time for

{CHINESE NEW YEAR}

It was great to spend time

with his family.

Too bad he has to go back.

Dylan is having major Nate withdrawals.

Ooooooooh poor baby,

he has no one to go to R rated movies with

or spend hours glued to the XBOX.

Like I said we were all happy

to spend time with my brother and his family.

YUMMY FOOD AND FUN WITH FAMILY!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

What I Did. . .

My two, no make that THREE days off of school.
Sunday night I got a sub for a Mental Health Day on Wednesday.
Monday night we were preparing and hoping for just a delayed start Tuesday.
Tuesday school was cancelled due to the ICE STORM.
I cancelled my sub for Wednesday, because I got to have Tuesday off.
Tuesday night, we find out there is no school on Wednesday. :(
Most people are happy for the time off.
Yesterday I was happy, today I was bummed, tomorrow makes me worry these days might cut into my trip to Idaho for my little sisters wedding in June.
All of our bad weather days are all used up-- days that teachers long for during the crazy days of spring. When twitterpated hormonal teenagers are driving you bonkers. :0)
I know you know what I am talking about.
We have made the most of our time off.

1. Since the whole family was home Tuesday we had a whole family cleaning party :D
2. A closet clean out and bags filled for GOODWILL
3. Claire and I made her Valentines, I packaged them all up without a pic, but here is the picture from the website and a link just in case you want to make your own.


Photo from Shabby Blogs

4. I graded papers, and more papers


5. I made homemade chicken and noodle soup-- with homemade noodles. Thanks for the suggestion Becca.


6. I had some {ALONE} time at home with my hubby while Claire was at a friends house. I can't remember the last time we were home {ALONE} together.


7. Claire and I played with my new camera
8. I made a Birthday Banner for a friend at work.
9. Claire had slumber parties in our room

10. We played lots of games

11. Made homemade Chili

12. A couple sessions of Yoga

I am sure that there will be much more to add-- I am hoping this does not extend into Friday. Say your prayers and cross your fingers everyone.

fUnKy FrUiT {F.H.E.}

At work I am participating in a {A.M.P.} it up challenge.

Teams have been formed, money pooled and LBS have been lost :D

Each week we participate in little challenges to earn more points.

This week for our challenge we were to try

4 {NEW} fruits or vegetables.

I told Dylan and Claire about

this weeks challenge

Monday evening during dinner

and we decided for our

FAMILY HOME EVENING

activity we would venture to KROGER

and each pick a fruit or vegetable

that we had not eaten before.

You can see what we came up with. Claire kept an account of what she found with each fruit.

Notice {KUMQUAT} is not on her paper.

A few of them we had to GOOGLE the proper way to eat.

When she watched the video on how to eat a {KUMQUAT}

she literally ran from the room screaming,

"I AM NOT GOING TO TRY THAT"

She did try everything else

pretty good for a picky six year old.

My take on the FuNkY FrUiTs:

Asian Pear/Apple- crunchy like a crisp apple and very grainy like a pear.

Sweet and bitter at the same time.

Papaya- Sweet with a hint of a piney taste.

Guava- A little bitter and a little sweet, very different from Guava sno cone flavoring :D

Kumquat- you pop the whole thing in your mouth and no swallowing until you have chewed the whole thing up completely. It tastes like eating an orange rind. I don't know why people rave about these. Not my thing.

Hope Yours Was As Enjoyable As Ours :0}

{Merry Christmas}

Have You Ever Felt This Way?

"'Mrs. Gardiner would be happy to see Miss March and Miss Josephine at a little dance on New Year's Eve.' Marmee is willing we should go, now what shall we wear?"

"What's the use of asking that, when you know we shall wear our poplins, because we haven't got anything else?" answered Jo with her mouth full.

"If I only had a silk!" sighed Meg. "Mother says I may when I'm eighteen perhaps, but two years is an everlasting time to wait."

"I'm sure our pops look like silk, and they are nice enough for us. Yours is as good as new, but I forgot the burn and the tear in mine. Whatever shall I do? The burn shows badly, and I can't take any out."

"You must sit still all you can and keep your back out of sight. The front is all right. I shall have a new ribbon for my hair, and Marmee will lend me her little pearl pin, and my new slippers are lovely, and my gloves will do, though they aren't as nice as I'd like."

"Mine are spoiled with lemonade, and I can't get any new ones, so I shall have to go without," said Jo, who never troubled herself much about dress.

"You must have gloves, or I won't go," cried Meg decidedly. "Gloves are more important than anything else. You can't dance without them, and if you don't I should be so mortified."

"Then I'll stay still. I don't care much for company dancing. It's no fun to go sailing round. I like to fly about and cut capers."

"You can't ask Mother for new ones, they are so expensive, and you are so careless. She said when you spoiled the others that she shouldn't get you any more this winter. Can't you make them do?"

"I can hold them crumpled up in my hand, so no one will know how stained they are. That's all I can do. No! I'll tell you how we can manage, each wear one good one and carry a bad one. Don't you see?"

"Your hands are bigger than mine, and you will stretch my glove dreadfully," began Meg, whose gloves were a tender point with her.

"Then I'll go without. I don't care what people say!" cried Jo, taking up her book.

"You may have it, you may! Only don't stain it, and do behave nicely. Don't put your hands behind you, or stare, or say 'Christopher Columbus!' will you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll be as prim as I can and not get into any scrapes, if I can help it. Now go and answer your note, and let me finish this splendid story."

So Meg went away to 'accept with thanks', look over her dress, and sing blithely as she did up her one real lace frill, while Jo finished her story, her four apples, and had a game of romps with Scrabble.

On New Year's Eve the parlor was deserted, for the two younger girls played dressing maids and the two elder were absorbed in the all-important business of 'getting ready for the party'. Simple as the toilets were, there was a great deal of running up and down, laughing and talking, and at one time a strong smell of burned hair pervaded the house. Meg wanted a few curls about her face, and Jo undertook to pinch the papered locks with a pair of hot tongs.

"Ought they to smoke like that?" asked Beth from her perch on the bed.

"It's the dampness drying," replied Jo.

"What a queer smell! It's like burned feathers," observed Amy, smoothing her own pretty curls with a superior air.

"There, now I'll take off the papers and you'll see a cloud of little ringlets," said Jo, putting down the tongs.

She did take off the papers, but no cloud of ringlets appeared, for the hair came with the papers, and the horrified hairdresser laid a row of little scorched bundles on the bureau before her victim.

"Oh, oh, oh! What have you done? I'm spoiled! I can't go! My hair, oh, my hair!" wailed Meg, looking with despair at the uneven frizzle on her forehead.

"Just my luck! You shouldn't have asked me to do it. I always spoil everything. I'm so sorry, but the tongs were too hot, and so I've made a mess," groaned poor Jo, regarding the little black pancakes with tears of regret.

"It isn't spoiled. Just frizzle it, and tie your ribbon so the ends come on your forehead a bit, and it will look like the last fashion. I've seen many girls do it so," said Amy consolingly.

"Serves me right for trying to be fine. I wish I'd let my hair alone," cried Meg petulantly.

"So do I, it was so smooth and pretty. But it will soon grow out again," said Beth, coming to kiss and comfort the shorn sheep.

After various lesser mishaps, Meg was finished at last, and by the united exertions of the entire family Jo's hair was got up and her dress on. They looked very well in their simple suits, Meg's in silvery drab, with a blue velvet snood, lace frills, and the pearl pin. Jo in maroon, with a stiff, gentlemanly linen collar, and a white chrysanthemum or two for her only ornament. Each put on one nice light glove, and carried one soiled one, and all pronounced the effect "quite easy and fine". Meg's high-heeled slippers were very tight and hurt her, though she would not own it, and Jo's nineteen hairpins all seemed stuck straight into her head, which was not exactly comfortable, but, dear me, let us be elegant or die.

"Have a good time, dearies!" said Mrs. March, as the sisters went daintily down the walk. "Don't eat much supper, and come away at eleven when I send Hannah for you." As the gate clashed behind them, a voice cried from a window . . .

"Girls, girls! Have you you both got nice pocket handkerchiefs?"

"Yes, yes, spandy nice, and Meg has cologne on hers," cried Jo, adding with a laugh as they went on, "I do believe Marmee would ask that if we were all running away from an earthquake."

Chapter 3, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

This part of Little Women kept running through my head as I hosted Thanksgiving with the in-laws this year. Knowing how things "should" be and feeling so inadequate.

I am thankful for family. Really, I am.