Feels Like We've Been to the Moon and Back: Part 1

Post edit:

This post was written some time ago.  Almost a year ago. . . I feel silly sharing it, but for me and my posterity I want to document the whole story.  Feel free to join me on the ride of my miraculous pregnancy over the next few days. . .  

Part One:

I've been wanting to do this for a while.  I just haven't let myself.  The emotion is too real, and sometimes I think my feelings are silly. 

I am also stuck in a world of non-belief.  When you want something so bad for so long and you've even started to come to grips with it never happening. . . it's very hard to accept it as reality when it happens.

Let's pick up where I last left off.  School started and we were here in Houston and nothing had gone as planned.  I really was at peace with life.  My husband thought I was crazy because I felt totally at peace not having found a teaching job.  I just knew things would work out.  I began doing things I had been wanting to do for so long, but couldn't because I was working. 

I met a great friend and started walking in the mornings with her.  She also is fighting the infertility battle.  Her strong sweet spirit every morning is what I needed.

I started a weekly Book of Mormon class with some amazing women from church.  It felt so good to DIG into the scriptures and be fed spiritually by women who had so many more life experiences than little old me. 

I took time to focus on the individual needs of my family and how to make our little apartment feel like home.

All the while still interviewing and searching for a teaching job.

The month of September was BLISS!!!! 

First week of October, Dylan was away on business and Claire and I enjoyed our girls week.  My unpredictable womanly cycle was being unpredictable again.  Much to my husband's chagrin I bought ANOTHER pregnancy test.  (He hates that I almost monthly am buying pregnancy tests. . . but he was out of town. . . he would never know right?) 

Claire is now old enough to know what message those little sticks give and when we arrived home she followed me into the bathroom. I was expecting the same answer I have recieved for the last eight years. Instead this is what we saw almost immediately. . .

The moment I read the results I began chanting over and over, "oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!"

Claire then begins asking a million questions like, "Mom, what does it mean?  Mom, is this bad?  Mom, are you okay?"

I tell her to look at the stick and tell me what a plus sign means.  she looks and says, "pregnant!!!!"

Quickly I take a picture and text it to Dylan who is hanging out in a hotel room somewhere on the East coast.  He immediately calls me and says, "what's that supposed to mean?"  Ahhh, my husband, the man who has such tact and grace.  He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.  Excitement is not a part of his vocabulary. 

As a result of getting absolutely no excitement and every ounce of level headedness from my husband over the phone, I decided I needed to share this info with someone else who would give me a more positive response.  I immediately texted the photo to my bosom buddy Janie and we laughed and cried together. 

Next up: Reality sinking in. . . the timing of the whole situation left us scratching our heads.