Sunday, March 1, 2009

Deciding When. . .



Sunday afternoons at our house consists of "nap time". This is Me and Dylan's time to be ALONE-- regardless of what we are doing-- sleeping, talking, or whatever else. This means Claire has to go to her room and either take a nap or have quiet time. Today Claire was not keen on the idea of quiet time. In fact at one point she was sitting outside our bedroom door, crying and saying, "I just want someone to play with me!" It broke my heart.
It broke my heart, because when I had Sunday quiet time growing up, I had a brother and two sisters to quietly play barbies, monopoly or not so quietly fight with.
I'm reaching the point of not knowing what the next step is for us.
I want to hear from those of you that have adopted, what led you to take that route? Was there a stirring in your soul? How did you know you were ready to take that step?
For those of you who have done fertility treatments, how did you know it was worth spending so much on something that wasn't a sure thing? When do you know when to call it quits?
For those of you with only one child, or have been an only child, How did you know this was right for your family? That your child would be happy without siblings?
There are just so many questions that face me, and I feel the answers are all the same-- you'll know what's right for you and your family-- but all I've been feeling is the longing for a baby-- because mine is not a baby anymore and she would make the BEST big sister.
Please share your experiences, I really want to know what prompted you take the next step, regardless of what step you decided to take.



10 comments:

Maria said...

I've commented on your blog before, but I just wanted to say that I too have 1 child, and he is the exact age as your daughter. Just as I'm writing this comment he is asking me to play with him. As much as I try to play with him, I feel as though I can't fill the void of not having any brothers or sisters. I too am trying to make the decision of adoption or fertility treatments. I will be interested in knowing what other people say on the subject. Good luck to you in making a decision!

Amanda said...

I just wanted to say that picture of Claire is PRICELESS! I am sorry I have no advice. But I am glad you are so brave to put your feelings out there and I hope you come to a decision that brings you peace.

Janie said...

When Cjane said on her blog that she just KNEW - it raised a million questions in my mind - mainly "how did you just know"
Its a roller coaster of emotions that unfortunately begins again every month and its consuming.

It breaks my heart, really it does and I am not sure what the answer is.

I do know that Claire is happy child and don't feel bad one second!

AnoelleB said...

What does it mean if my kids each have two brothers to play with, and STILL sit outside our door crying for someone to come play with them..... :)

That is the CUTEST picture!

Meredith said...

Well my friend, all I can say is: isn't it great to have options? In so many decisions in life, there aren't so many options. It can be turmoil making a decision, but it can also bring you so, so close to your spouse and to Heavenly Father. You know our story....I knew there was one more (okay, so it turned into 6 more, but that wasn't part of my original plan!) and we couldn't have more. So for us, adoption was absolutely the path. But even then there are so many options. Each part of the decision has to be carefully weighed, prayed about and then acted upon. Ain't easy, but it sure feels good when you get to that point and know that you chose the right way!

The Moose said...

wow, my answer was WAY too long for this space so I sent you an email ;)

Bree said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bree said...

Sarah- i think you need to connect with my sis-in-law. She's a BIG TIME blogger- nobiggie.net. They're story is very similar to yours. Have one biological daughter who is now... 6 I think? Born very premature and tiny. (In fact, that is my nickname for her- "Tiny") They just adopted last June after more heartache than I feel comfortable sharing online without her consent. Obviously I don't have much good advice on the matter, but I know she should be more than happy to gain another blog-buddy and tell you first hand about her experience. I do know that they could not be more grateful for adoption- and after so much heatache, K&K have said that it is ALL worth it to have baby A in their lives.

LaFish said...

Sarah my friend! I wish there were a magic formula that made decisions like this easy and pain free! David and I decided to adopt after much research, and lots of prayer. For me it wasn't a huge sunburst or hallelujah chorus saying this was the right path, it was a quiet reassurance that my HF loved me and that all would be well as we started on this new adventure.

lorchick said...

Hi, I randomly found your blog tonight, via the little blog gear that we both have our our blogs, lol...

My little 'miracle baby' is 20 months old today, and from the moment she was born I have been stressing out about how she will do if there is no more miracles. We have an 8% chance of having more kids, which isn't nothing, but isn't exactly betting high. I totally know where you are coming from. :/
I do whatever I can to make sure my DD has lots of interaction with other kids, esp. her cousins... I even watch another little girl part time just so there is somebody constant/regular for her to play/interact/fight with. lol.
at the end of the day, though, no matter what the circumstances, you're always going to second guess yourself, it's what mommies do ;) ... so just go with your gut instinct and what you feel will be best for your family as a whole!